


The Seasons and Him

by smolsquad



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Baekhyun is a sad soul, Childhood, Kyungsoo is a living fluff ball wrapped around swearing words, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 21:42:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13796931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smolsquad/pseuds/smolsquad
Summary: The day was the first day in winterThe age was 3 years old.The name was Baekhyun. Byun Baekhyun.The first day his path crossed with Kyungsoo. Do Kyungsoo.The day was their first meeting as if it was written in their providence. The day was also the first day he got rejected by the fluffiest toddler.orBaekhyun couldn't catch up with seasons because his seasons revolving around certain person





	The Seasons and Him

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fopsyche94](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fopsyche94/gifts).



> here comes gift for my favorite author @ fopsyche94  
> i hope u like this story ^^ 
> 
> have a nice day and happy for everyone who comes across this story

The day was the first day in winter

The age was 3 years old.

The name was Baekhyun. Byun Baekhyun.

The first day his path crossed with Kyungsoo. Do Kyungsoo.

“Heyyo fluffy!” Little Baekhyun greeted him.

The said toddler spared him a disinterest glance then putting his focus back on his Lego.

“Heyyo! Baekkie say heyyo!” Baekhyun walked around so he could come face to face with the toddler and show him his rectangular smile, hands waving excitedly. At least he should get his attention so he could get his hello back, right?

The day was a sparkling day for him because Baekhyun had experiencing meeting the fluffiest toddler he had ever seen.

Kyungsoo did give him the attention upon Baekhyun’s noisy doings. But only to growled a  short “Go away!”

Baekhyun gasped on the bark he got as the return of his friendly greetings.

The day was the first meeting as if it was written in their providence. The day was also the first day he got rejected by the fluffiest toddler.

 

The day was the 23rd day in winter

The age was still 3 years old.

Little Baekhyun had his second encounter with the fluffy toddler.

He was with a very good looking boy.

On a swing. Smiling. Laughing.

Baekhyun subconsciously smiled back at the scene. Even the object of his adoration didn’t share the laugh with him.

The toddler was beaming in Baekhyun’s eyes.

“Fluffy,” Baekhyun whispered his half conscious state. Too mesmerized at the view before him.

Because the day was still in winter of course today was cold. It was freezing to death.

But Baekhyun felt warm.

In that day Baekhyun had his first ultimate goal in his toddler day. To befriended the fluffy kid on the swing and made him stay around Baekhyun forever.

 

The day was the 4th day in spring.

And the age was still 3rd years old

The first day Baekhyun had learned the name.

It wasn’t because the said toddler had introduced himself to Baekhyun. But he heard it when a mid age woman called the fluffy toddler “Kyungsoo! Do Kyungsoo!”

Baekhyun mumbled the name till he fell asleep in his bed.

‘Do Kyungsoo’

Spring day was about welcoming a beautiful summer.

For Baekhyun spring was already beautiful enough. Because he had spent most of the days watching Kyungsoo. Also today he even got the name.

 

The day was the 17th day in  spring.

Baekhyun was 3 years old but going to be 4 in a couple months.

The day was the first day Kyungsoo wanted to play with Baekhyun.

Baekhyun was sad on that day.

Mom and Dad didn’t talk with each other since morning. Baekhyun wondered why but mom’s smile was a bit odd so Baekhyun didn’t ask her why.

Mom sent Baekhyun to the daycare after lunch.

Baekhyun didn’t feel good. He couldn’t smile.

He also didn’t have the spirit to stare at Kyungsoo as usual. He had his head down since his arrival at the daycare.

He drew his family with his favorite crayons quietly. Mom, Dad, and Baekkie. He wrote under the drawings but suddenly he was teary. And tears dripped into the paper and on his drawings. Everything was blurry because the tears.

Baekhyun was about to ruin his drawings with his tears when someone tugging his shirt.

When he looked up Kyungsoo was that someone. A tender smile was offered to him. “Let’s play together,” He said.

That day was the first day Kyungsoo said something nice to him.

So even the 17th day in spring was a sad day for Baekhyun it was also a day filled with blissful feelings for him.

 

The day was the 10th day in Autumn

The age was 6 years old.

Baekhyun was flapping his feet happily while eating his breakfast.

“I can see your sudden interest with school, Baek,” His mom teased him.

Baekhyun would only reply with flashing his iconic rectangle smile anytime his mom and dad sneering at him over his first time excitement for school.

That day was the first day of his second year in school.

Also Kyungsoo first day in school.

Of course Baekhyun would thrill by idea spending school day with Kyungsoo.

“Soo-ah over here!” He shouted at the source of his sudden fervor for school.

Kyungsoo walked to his direction slowly. Yep he was still the same doesn’t-have-enough-energy-for-Baekhyun’s-loud-and-stupid-acts.

“Don’t scream. You dumbass,” Kyungsoo spat on him.

Baekhyun gasped, “Soo-ah you are only 5 year old! A barely toddler! You shouldn’t say swearing words!”

But Kyungsoo only scoffed at him. “You are more toddler than me, headass,” Then he walked passed Baekhyun who had his mouth gaped at the other bad nicknames Kyungsoo threw at me.

“Hey wait! You can’t call your elder with names!” He yelled running after Kyungsoo with pouty lips.

Their first school day together was started with them bickering with each other. But that was the odds of their days so nothing was off with that day.

That day was the first day Kyungsoo would start his journey as a sophomore but Baekhyun was more thrilled by the idea more than Kyungsoo himself.

 

The day was 5th day in winter.

The age was 12 years old.

Baekhyun was spending the night at Kyungsoo’s home.

That day supposed to be the day when they stayed up all night playing video games. Also Baekhyun already set a plan to start a pillow fight with Kyungsoo. But the odds were not on him.

Kyungsoo was so gloomy - not that he was a cheerful person before but Baekhyun could tell the difference between gloomy Soo and normal Soo - and he kept spacing out.

Baekhyun knew the reason. But he didn’t like it. Because turned out the person behind Kyungsoo’s gloominess was the person he didn’t favor even a bit.

That boy was the same boy he had seen pushing Kyungsoo’s swing. It was on the day he saw Kyungsoo’s first smile and laugh. That boy was also the reason behind Kyungsoo’s mile.

Kris was his name. What a ridiculous name.

Kris was Kyungsoo’s neighbor since he was born. He was like a son to Kyungsoo’s mom and dad.

Baekhyun had never found him endearing or beautiful. But Kyungsoo did.

Kris came to have dinner with Kyungsoo and his family which unfortunately Baekhyun had to participate because he was there for the sleepover and the dinner too.

And then the tall human, Kris, had to announce his departure to China because some bla bla bla Baekhyun had no interest to listen.

Baekhyun saw the look on Kyungsoo’s face. It was like the light in his life has gone. And dear heaven it wasn’t a look Baekhyun would ever want to see on Kyungsoo again.

After dinner they went to Kyungsoo’s bedroom. None of them spoke for a couple hours. Neither played the video games.

Until Baekhyun put a paper on Kyungsoo’s lap and whisper, “Secret time,’

It was their thing. Secret time. A time for them to share their deepest secret. And no word would go out after the secret time even between them. So the secret would only exist on the secret time.

One time at secret time Baekhyun had told Kyungsoo about his family. His happy family - that was how people would like to describe it. But the truth was only known by the people inside the family and Baekhyun was one of them.

Baekhyun had wrote ‘I wish my parents had divorced’. And Kyungsoo had replied with ‘Why?’. Baekhyun had replied with the first thing came into his mind. ‘I think they will be happier that way’. Kyungsoo showed him a concern look and Baekhyun eased him with his smile. Not the rectangular one. But still a smile.

‘Do you like him?’ Was what written on the paper.

Kyungsoo wrote the answer which successfully made a hollow inside Baekhyun. ‘No. I love him’

The day was still in winter.

And for the first time Baekhyun acknowledged the cold in winter day.

 

The day was the 30th day in summer.

The age was 13 years old.

They were in summer break. They had chosen to spend the day on beach..

Kyungsoo was over Kris. Or maybe he wasn’t. But Kyungsoo had never mentioned the name ever again. Whatever the reason behind Kyungsoo’s nonchalant demeanor for Kris, Baekhyun was glad the said person had gone to somewhere far away. Yep for Baekhyun China was far away enough. _Enough_ to make Kyungsoo lost hope for him. Kyungsoo didn’t even bother to contact Kris anymore since that sorrowful day in winter.

Baekhyun didn’t know what was the feeling he had for Kyungsoo but he did know it was something special.

The sun was blaring like crazy on him - Baekhyun wasn’t into the beach that much - he didn’t like beach and the sun but at least he could see Kyungsoo had a full teeth smile so it was okay.

The ice cream was so inviting and Baekhyun couldn’t help himself but to licked it subconsciously. Kyungsoo hit his back with full force immediately - almost made him choked out the melting ice cream inside his mouth. “You wanna die?” He was giving Baekhyun his usual death threat with the usual intimidating glare. Baekhyun was about to return the hit and fight him for the unfair treatment he got but then he realized the ice cream was not his but Kyungsoo’s. He gave him a sheepish smile before took a big bite on the Kyungsoo’s ice cream in a flash of light then ran away from the the smaller’s rage.

The day was just an ordinary day in summer and Baekhyun had to admit maybe summer was the time for something to start.

 

The day was the 1st day in fall.

The age was 15 years old.

It did take Baekhyun a long time but he had figured it out.

What he had for Kyungsoo was something special. And it was called love.

Kyungsoo was fourteen and he was Baekhyun’s first love.

 

The day was 44th in summer.

The age was 16 years old.

Kyungsoo had his first date and it wasn’t with Baekhyun.

People would say love is a disaster. Baekhyun had to agree with them even he didn’t really like to admit it.

Kyungsoo was preparing himself for the date and Baekhyun was rolling like a hyper kid on Kyungsoo’s bed.

“You don’t have something better to do. Don’t you?” Kyungsoo finally gave him attention after putting on his final shirt for the date.

Baekhyun glanced on the chosen shirt and he couldn’t help but laughing loudly. “What’s your problem now?” Kyungsoon gritted his teeth.

Kyungsoo might be the most reserved person in the world but Baekhyun had always managed to get into his nerves anytime he wanted to.

“You spent two hours deciding which shirt you should wear and i can’t even tell if it’s worth it or not,” Baekhyun said through his laughter.

“You think this shirt is bad? Take a look on yours!”

“First of all the problem is not the shirt but the fact that you even bother to choose when all you have are those _similar_ _black shirts_. _Similar black shirts_ is the keyword here,” Baekhyun made a quote gesture to emphasis the keyword. And before Kyungsoo could retort back he continued, “And second of all i am not going to a date so it’s okay if my shirt is shitty,”

Baekhyun noticed how Kyungsoo was about to bite back but holding it for some reason. And instead he asked Baekhyun with genuine worry on his face. “So what do you suggest me to do? The date is in a hour,” Kyungsoo said desperately. Baekhyun would be glad if all Kyungsoo’s worries was for their date but sadly it wasn’t. So he couldn’t share the same emotion or some empathy with the boy.

“You can cancel the date and go buy some colorful shirts with me instead,”

The worries disappeared from Kyungsoo’s face replaced with a deep scowled. “Thanks for reminding me how much a dick you are,” Kyungsoo took his wallet and left Baekhyun.

Baekhyun could only stare at the closed door.

“What if i told you that i was asking you out and you should accept it because a dick usually great at dates,” The words rolled out of his mouth. Knowing the boy had gone to his first date and no one could hear those words.

That day was summer but Baekhyun didn’t think the same way with his younger self. Fuck summer. Nothing should start in summer.

 

The day was the 22nd in fall.

The age was 18 years old.

Baekhyun was a freshman in college.

It had only been days since he was being away from home and the gloomy Kyungsoo. But it felt like years. Not that college was boring. Everything was hilarious in college. Except there was no Kyungsoo. So it meant nothing for him.

That day the cloud was a bit grey. Fall usually made a dreary feeling. And Baekhyun couldn’t ask for more than a day, which match his sombre mood.

Fall was here and Baekhyun couldn’t wait for winter break.

 

The day was the 6th day in winter.

The age was still 18 years old.

Baekhyun was home but didn’t get the feeling it was a home anymore.

He was in his parent’s house.

The home turned into house because no one ever brave enough to voice out how suffocating it was the tension between them. Between his parents.

His mom and dad were still on the dread of a broken marriage.

Like Baekhyun had always thought they were better get a divorce.

The silent distress they had was only getting louder when Baekhyun came back home. So even his mom had wrapped him in a lot of warm hugs and his father had shared some intimate father-son talk in some nice evenings with him he still couldn’t picture his family as a happy one. It was broken. Not the love they had for Baekhyun. But the love between them.

His parents had no more love for each other. They could be happier but they chose to not be happy for Baekhyun’s sake but on the contrary Baekhyun was the toll now.

Winter was here and the first snow had fallen, but Kyungsoo still didn’t show up at his doorway. It was either he had forgotten the day of his arrival or Kyungsoo just didn’t have the same excitement as him to meet each other again after a long time being apart.

‘Well, it was not like he reciprocated my feeling anyway.’ Baekhyun muttered wistfully to himself.

His eyes were glued to the picture of the two of them on their 5th winter together. They were smiling at the camera with both hands pointing at the ugly snowman they had failed to build. No one knew why they did the pose, but in the end it did make them look like they were enjoying their time together.

Why winter had to be so complicated?

A heart break in summer was easier to understand than what he felt today.

 

The day was the 8th day in winter

Baekhyun was still 18 years old.

And he couldn’t count how many times he had wished to be a younger version of him.

He was so genuine at those times in his younger days. Never felt anything remorseful toward anything or anyone.

But now he was so _old_ . And _young_ at mind at the same time.

He couldn’t find the right feeling or it might be he just couldn’t name the feeling.

Kyungsoo was here in his bedroom. He was okay. Even brighter than ever.

He was sorry to be such a dumb mega best friend for forgetting his arrival date. He was so sorry that he was days late to welcome his return. But he was never sorry to spend those days with his boyfriend.

Yep Kyungsoo had a boyfriend. And _again_ the boyfriend was not Baekhyun.

Nothing was surprising Baekhyun anymore. The fact that he was never be Kyungsoo’s first love or his first date or his first boyfriend.

Well he was never had Kyungsoo since the first place why he had to be startled by the news?

He only choked a little in his throat.

“His name is Chanyeol. He is such a loud dick just like you. I guess you will get along with him,”

Kyungsoo explained nonchalantly. But the way he spelled the name was full of adoration. Even Kyungsoo didn’t or wouldn’t ever notice it Baekhyun always did and would.

And he hated himself for being such an observant human when it came to Kyungsoo.

“Then why don’t you date me instead if he’s so much like me?” Baekhyun blurted out the words without thinking straight. He was never straight for Kyungsoo back then or later in future.

Kyungsoo reacted with a long perplexed look. Then he was scrutinizing Baekhyun’s face carefully.

Baekhyun had been in long awaiting for Kyungsoo to notice his feeling. But he didn’t want it to happen like this. When Kyungsoo was just appeared with a happy seven days and still going on relationship with his first boyfriend. Not in a slip out of tongue and in a form such cheap pick up line. No he had so much dream about his confession. But never something like this.

So Baekhyun broke the serious tension with a loud laugh.

“Ha gotcha!” He screamed to Kyungsoo’s ear.

Kyungsoo was so annoyed. He cursed so many swearing words - looked like he had learned so many new words in months. Also _of course_ Baekhyun got some fatal headlock from the smaller boy as bonus.

His head hurt a bit and his heart hurt a lot but at least the tension wasn’t there to suffocate them.

Winter day was always weird for Baekhyun.

 

The day was the 49th day in Spring.

The age was 19 years old.

Baekhyun was in college thinking deep how to make Kyungsoo get off of his mind so he could pass his exams. Kyungsoo was taking too much space in his brain and for a boy who wasn’t his boyfriend Kyungsoo also unnecessarily littering his mind a bit too much.

Kyungsoo was still in his happy relationship and Baekhyun was still in his self-loathing.

His days was spent in bleary mood.

Spring was a wonderful season. But Baekhyun had never find himself enjoyed spring.

It wasn’t the season. It was Kyungsoo who made the season for him.

 

The day was the 18th day in Fall

The age was still 19 years old.

Baekhyun had two news for himself.

Bad news had to come first. Kyungsoo was still together with his very boyfriend.

The good news was Kyungsoo got accepted into his very college.

Baekhyun was never felt more torn than now.

He was sad but happy. Did the term _shappy_ worked ? It was the combination of _sad_ plus _happy_ . Only Baekhyun could get the joke though. He was the _shappy_ one. Damnit.

“Baek, do you know the magic trick to kick out your roommate?”

Kyungsoo was a refugee in his place. He was in Baekhyun’s place since morning. Glad his roommate was practically live 90% of his life outside the dorm. So the room basically for himself.

“Why?”

“He’s so loud. I still can hear his voice even when i was using headphone. Can you imagine it?” Kyungsoo was grumbling at full speed.

“So you don’t think i’m loud?”

Kyungsoo was contemplating his whole existence for seconds. Then replied. “But i do tolerate you,”

“Why?”

“Because you are special,”

Special?

That was the word Baekhyun had tried to figure it out in a day in his somewhat summer.

_Special_

“What kind of special?” Baekhyun couldn’t help but bring the conversation further in the field he didn’t really think was good to be approached in this mean time.

Kyungsoo threw him a pillow. “Stop that! You are always trying to get into my nerves,” He spluttered a bit as eating his mac and cheese.

“You are always in my nerves,” Baekhyun again let so much pieces of his hear slip out of his stupid mouth.

But luckily Kyungsoo was too blunt to catch the feelings which latched into Baekhyun’s every words. So it was normal for him to only snort loudly as the reply.

The day in fall was supposed to be gloomy and dark but after Kyungsoo crashed into his room suddenly it was bright and shiny for Baekhyun.

Again seasons were meant nothing when Kyungsoo was the one who ruled them for Baekhyun

 

The day was the 37th in summer.

The age was twenty years old.

He was spending summer break in his parent’s house.

Nothing much had changed in that house. Still the same oddly together parents who supposed to get divorced to get better. Baekhyun hoped in his graduation day the gift was his parents decision to file a divorce. It was getting ridiculous to stay together only to prove they were great parents and indeed a happy family - like every blind people would say. Baekhyun could bet his whole money if those people wasn’t too blinded by the basic theory of what a happy family should look like they might have seen how emotionally disfunction his parents were as a couple.

Fuck social construction. Baekhyun was so fed up with all those bullshits.

“Mom, do you love dad?” Baekhyun broke the peaceful moment he had with his mom.

And the expression his mother had on her face was _something_ . Baekhyun knew what was that _something_ meant.

But unfortunately the bell rang loudly and his mom took the chance to flee away from the conversation. “I have to answer the door,”

Baekhyun stayed on the couch. He was about to change the channel when his mom shouted his name with urgency in her tone. “Baekhyun!”

He fled to the front door and then he saw Kyungsoo in his mother’s tight hug. Her iconic comforting hug. Usually Baekhyun used the privilege when he had an extra bad day. Now Kyungsoo was using it then it might be something so horrible.

The hair was still as soft as Baekhyun could remember. He patted Kyungsoo’s head lightly making the said boy looked up at him only to show him his eyes red and full of tears.

It was Kyungsoo who was crying for some unknown reasons why Baekhyun was the one who felt choked and strained at that moment?

“Hey what happened?”

“He left me,” The only answered Kyungsoo able to mutter before sobbing hard.

Baekhyun was never a murderous person. He was a puppy like kind of human. He was always on the bright side. The opposite was Kyungsoo - even in the inside Kyungsoo was also a puppy human.

But for that very moment all Baekhyun longed to do was to kill a human. A Chanyeol.

He didn’t care if that huge human was almost twice his size because Baekhyun had a quite high level in aikido. He felt the need to test his forgotten aikido skill.

“Soo-ah let’s get you to Baek’s room.”

Baekhyun’s mom and Baekhyun had succeeded in mission taking the crying Kyungsoo to his room. And now he was lying soullessly on his bed. Still sobbing. But a bit better. Not as hard as when he was still in Baek’s mom’s hug.

His mother left them to prepare their dinner.

“Soo-ah do you want to talk about it?” Kyungsoo raised his head a bit in response. He looked almost not like his Kyungsoo. Because the Kyungsoo he knew was never had such an expression. He looked like his world had been crushed and no one could ever put it back together. The heartbreak was written clearly on his pretty face and it did hurt Baekhyun as well.

‘How much did Kyungsoo have loved that bastard?’ Baekhyun gritted his teeth.

He wanted to feel the jealousy but all he felt was heartbreak. Like he was the one being left by that bastard.

“If you still can’t then i can wait,” He said reassuringly. Kyungsoo replied with mumbling a small thank you to him.

Baekhyun stayed beside him listening to his unrequited love crying his heart out in agony.

Sure love was a disaster, but wasn’t it the heartbreak was the reason of every disaster in love?

Summer was the time for everyone to cheer upon everything. Partying loudly. Celebrating and flaunting their body goals. A promising time to start something new and fresh.

But for Baekhyun summer was still a bitch. Sometimes he liked it, sometimes he resented it with full hatred.

And now he got hurt by something despite in theory it supposed to make him happier in this summer.

Guess seasons meant nothing when all Baekhyun’s seasons were revolving around Kyungsoo.

 

The day was the 54th in fall.

The age was still 20 years old.

Kyungsoo was practically lived in his room. After the heartbreak he had declared he couldn’t stand his roommate anymore and he wanted to stay with the one he trusts the most - which happened to be Baekhyun. And luck was still on his side because his roommate almost didn’t bother to come back to their room. So he had a free living space for Kyungsoo.

They were watching some Netflix rom-com. There was nothing interesting but it was enough to kill time. Baekhyun’s head was so crowded and too crammed with final exams. He felt like puking if he had his mind wondering to that scary thoughts.

Then suddenly Kyungsoo decided it was the best time to asked Baekhyun. “Hey Baek, i wonder if you ever fall in love in your life? Because as long as i can remember your love life is as dry as a deserted desert.”

What a great time for him to pop up a quick and smart question. Guess who had made his whole love life as miserable as ever.

“Well at least i did not bawl my eyes out because some lanky boy,”

Kyungsoo might have felt the touche because he headlocked Baekhyun right away.

“Surrender sir!” Baekhyun screamed his lungs out.

“One more making fun of my breakup you gonna see why people call me Satansoo,”

Kyungsoo had spared Baekhyun his life but he was not deterred by the threat and kept making jokes based on his mega bestfriend’s breakup.

Until at near midnight Baekhyun was so out of the breathe from all the chokes Kyungsoo gave him. Not that he couldn’t fight back - he had a damn aikido gold medal for some reason which was defending himself from assaulter - but he didn’t find anything in him willing to hurt Kyungsoo even a bit. So he just let him.

Eventually the attack was making him agitated to the point made him shouted. “You know what! I was the one who had spread that satansoo nickname. Fuck you!”

They ended up wrestling on the bed. Still with the composition Kyungsoo using his full energy and Baekhyun only let out a little of his to keep him at least _alive_.

Fall was a sad season for some people because the bright summer was over.

For Baekhyun that day in fall was happiness because he was a centimeter away from Kyungsoo.

 

The day was the 37th in summer.

The age was 21 years old.

Baekhyun was ready to graduate and Kyungsoo had his second boyfriend. And the boyfriend was still not him.

Great. He was never be his first or even second. Might be _never._

At least today Kyungsoo fulfilled his promise to spend the whole day with just the two of them.

They spent the day playing video games. Like the good old days.

Baekhyun felt like the house was ready to explode with the amount of tension his parents had. The fact that Kyungsoo kept his promise to come already dissipated the ugly mood inside his house.

But it would be only for that day because starting from tomorrow Kyungsoo would spend the rest of summer break with his boyfriend at his rich boyfriend’s beach house.

Kyungsoo did invite Baekhyun. But the need to torture himself - witnessing his unrequited love had a lot of affectionate thingy with his second boyfriend - was not so high on the day Kyungsoo had inviting him so he had said _no_ clear and loud.

That day was summer. But again Baekhyun thrilled by the idea to erase the concept of season.

Those seasons had almost never match his day.

 

The day was the 22nd day in spring

The age was nearing to 22 years old and he was working in corporate.

He was an official corporate’s slave now.

Kyungsoo was in his senior year in college and he already in his third relationship.

The second heartbreak was never as bad as the first.

They were barely contacting each other. But Baekhyun was still deep in love with him. He should ask God why he had to be only loyal lover in this full of cheater world. At least let him love another human who was capable to return his feeling. Kyungsoo did not even remember he hated seafood in general. Bet Kyungsoo did not even have the 1% from his 100% amount of love Baekhyun had for him.

Love could be so difficult and full of calculation sometimes.

And work was suck.

It was spring in his timezone but for Baekhyun today was another slavery day in corporate.

 

The day was the 60th day in Fall

The age was 23 years old.

Baekhyun was going abroad today.

He guess today was the day to let him go for forever.

Kyungsoo was still alive _of course_. Lived happily with his third lover. And he guess Sehun was really the one for Kyungsoo. And yep Sehun was the name of his strongest rival on pampering Kyungsoo with love. He took such a good care on him. So he felt soothed by idea of Kyungsoo had someone like him around even he wasn’t that someone.

The contract for the abroad project written for 3 years. Any possibility for it to be prolonged was always open. Baekhyun had no reason to go back anyway.

His parents finally got divorced. And they now lived separately in two totally different countryside. His mom near the beach. And his father was in a secluded place with cold and breezy air near the mountain. They were always two different poles since the start. Why it had to be hard to admit they were not meant to be together in the end even they might be were in the start.

Perhaps their story was the same with him and Kyungsoo. But the sadder part was in his story. Because he had never had Kyungsoo since the very first.

Kyungsoo had offered to take him to the airport but he declined it. He didn’t believe himself to keep it together if Kyungsoo was the one who sent him. He might blurt his feeling out.

Baekhyun would rather leave their story end this way. Their nonexistent love story should end in peace and serene. He was satisfied the way it was.

Better this way.

Baekhyun wanted to be reminded as a happy memory in Kyungsoo’s memory. He had planned to stop the crossing roads and paths between him and Kyungsoo. So today he let himself whispered all the goodbyes he needed to say for another years ahead to Kyungsoo.

Goodbye his Do Kyungsoo. Goodbye his first love. Goodbye his first mega best friend.

“See you. If the odds were on us” Then Baekhyun let the photo of the two of them slipped from his fingers.

He was littering in the airport. But whatever. Sparing a broken-hearted man a day to litter around was the least this ugly universe could offer him.

The weather on that day was a bit cloudy and gray. Finally after a long time it did match his day.

Fall was supposed to be sad and dreary. Baekhyun was happy Fall stayed on its fate.

Because some seasons supposed to represent some sentiments.

Fall might be the best season to portray the heartbreak of letting his first love go after years telling himself that maybe one day Kyungsoo would be his.

Fall was the foreshadow of the bright summer and it was indeed a season for goodbye.

 

The day was the 10th in winter

The age was 27 years old.

Baekhyun was having a blast in his wedding party.

This winter was the coldest winter ever. But again for Baekhyun seasons on earth were never meant anything because his world revolved around its own sun. His world had his own time.

If he told his younger self that waiting was the key of his happiness then he was going to get a hard slap in both cheeks from his younger self.

He did know how restless was waiting. The waiting game was never an easy job to do. Easier to say but it was so much harder to come into act.

Waiting was always close to nothing. Almost worth near zero. But no one could predict or forecast the future so no one really knew what was up there till the day had come.

Some nothingness was something from the start. But never the right time to take place in the past. The future was where that something belonged

And for Baekhyun today was the day where one of those nothingness was belong.

He had met Kyungsoo in winter. He had lost Kyungsoo in winter and in another seasons. And he made a vow to spent the rest of his life to his Kyungsoo also in winter.

He had fell for Kyungsoo since his third winter in the earth.  He was so young in the age, in the mind, and in the heart at that age. He was so much older now. Much more mature. But nothing had change. He still loved Kyungsoo the same way as his three year old self did.  He might more mature than the three year old toddler he was before. But the love was never more mature than it was in years before. He didn’t need a more mature love to love Kyungsoo. He had always love him enough. And enough was always more than enough.

Seasons were always great. But he had never been expecting winter would hold so much of his fate.


End file.
